We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their most shocking hookup stories, and I was not prepared for what I read. Here are the most surprising ones:
Note: Some submissions come from this Reddit thread.
1. "During the middle of COVID, I went on a random Tinder hookup. Two steps into the house, I realized it was a hoarder's house. She took me up to her bed, which was literally a mattress and a dusty blanket. I kept my mask on the entire time we hooked up."
2. "He mentioned he liked my place, but I genuinely thought it was a comment on my decor and style. Lo and behold, two weeks later I see him moving into to a unit on the same freaking floor. We lived a hallway apart from each other for a full year. He gave up on talking to me after month one when I made it very clear how uncomfortable it was for me."
3. "I met a woman in a bar one night, and we immediately went back to her best friend's place and started hooking up. The following day, as I’m saying goodbye, her best friend asked, 'Did she tell you that her husband is a minister?' I almost crapped myself. Then I said, 'Oh my god! I’m going to hell.'”
—Anonymous
4. "I was in college and met a woman while I was studying at a coffee shop. It was the middle of the day on a weekday. We talked a bit, and she invited me to follow her to her place. I had never done anything like this before, but she was cute, so I agreed. I followed her to McMansion, and when we got inside, she immediately started things. Just as it was time to get to it, she begged me not to wear protection or pull out. I just said no, and she stopped it. As I was leaving, her wife walked out and told me that they just needed my sperm."
—Anonymous
5. "She failed to inform me that she had seizures on a daily basis. We finished the deed, and she had a seizure."
6. "I met a woman at a coworker's party. She lived a few doors down from them and asked me to walk her home. She invited me in. Her big house was totally empty of furniture, which I thought was weird. I should have left, but I went with it. We were mid-coitus when a 2 or 3-year-old kid walked in with a full, smelly diaper. Found out from a co-worker that she was in the middle of a terrible divorce and that she must have left the kid home alone for the hour or so she was at the party."
—Anonymous
7. "I was about 35 and was on a business trip in New York. One night after my conference, I went to a local bar, and it was pretty empty, so I sat at the bar. Not long after that, this really attractive 65ish year old woman sits at the other end of the bar. She bought me a drink, so I returned the favor and sat by her and bought her one. After a few drinks and conversation, she asked if I’d ever done a Sportsman Double. I told her no, and she explained it was a mother/daughter threesome. I was intrigued and buzzed. I figured she was hot, and her daughter was probably too, so I took her up on her offer. We got back to her place and told me to wait in the living room. She walked down the hall and knocked on a bedroom door, opened it, and yelled MOM I GOT ONE!!"
—Anonymous
8. "Back in '94, on a second date after fooling around a little, I declined going further, citing my period. The next thing I knew, he turned in his seat, faced away from me with his feet on the ground. Then he pulled his jacket kinda up around his hunched-over position. First, I had zero clue what he was doing. Is he cold? Gonna puke? Next, he is bobbing his head into his lap. The freaking dude was going down on himself."
—Anonymous
9. "A friend of mine told me a girl projectile vomited during the act while in doggie position."
10. "I had a one-night stand with a girl last summer on a Saturday night. The following morning, the girl's own mom came to pick her up at my house. We didn’t meet each other, but I could clearly see her mom's face in the car through the window. The next day, I was starting a new job. The first person I met as I walked into the building that morning was my boss's secretary. The girl from Saturday night's mom, from the car!"
11. "I hooked up with a guy in a second-floor bathroom at a house party. I could hear people looking for him. Someone knocked on the door. He freaked out and went out the window into a tree. I closed the window and left the bathroom. I said I hadn’t seen him. I went downstairs and outside to hang out. 20 minutes later, he fell out of the tree. No one had any clue why he was in the tree, and he never heard the end of it. No one ever put two and two together."
12. "I was drinking at a friend's bonfire and hooked up with a guy. We hooked up by the train tracks, and we were so loud that a neighbor called 911 because she thought someone had been hit by a train. Fire, ambulance and police all showed up to see two drunk fools doing it in the bushes."
13. "I went back to her place, we were doing it doggie style, and her dog came up and licked my butt. Immediately, I was turned off."
14. "I went home with a guy and projectile vomited all over his rug. I was so embarrassed. I left right away and never spoke to him again."
15. "I was maybe 21, and my friends wanted to have a fun girls' night, so we went to this bar. I saw this man who is maybe 30ish years old, and he made eye contact with me. I walked up to him in my sort of drunk state and started to flirt. Flash forward, we were in the bathroom hooking up when his WIFE walks in looking for him. They had gone to the bar for their 5-year anniversary."
—Anonymous
16. "On Halloween, I went home with a guy, and ended up going down on him in his back seat. I woke up with him in my bed the next morning, got up, and went to work and ghosted him. About a week later, I went to an event for my parents' company; it turned out that the guy was my parents' coworker's son."
—Anonymous
17. And finally, "I met someone on a dating app and after we finished hooking up, she asked if I needed to poop. I told her I didn't and asked her why she said that, and she said it was because she really wanted to wipe my butt. I couldn't have gotten out of there any faster."
—Anonymous